Fear

It's just too fast! He came and left. Too soon. He's back to where he started again.

There's a week left before mock exam begins. I've done nothing yet. Need to buck up. Sis is going back next week, too soon. It's frightening.

Christmas Carol 2008

I've always loved caroling. It's a great way to build up the Christmas atmosphere. I joined the caroling team this year, it's a service specially for law students in NLS. There was so much uncertainty about the service but it was a success. I had so much fun and so much food! :D (I think I had about 8 mince pies)

I thought very few BVC students would turn up but a lot of them came ^_^ I was very happy because I was the only BVC student in the caroling team and it was my responsibility to encourage BVC students to attend the service. Shuv and Sek Hao also came, all the way from Loughborough for me! Thank you!!!

Part of the caroling team, some of them left when I took this picture :(

I wanted to wear something Christmassy but I didn't have anything particularly colourful so I wore my Edmundser shirt with black tights. It feels like I didn't wear any trousers, so weird.

Okay ah?

That's me after the service

Green eye colour for the occasion ^_^

Pre-Reunion

I managed to clean up my flatmate's room and our shared kitchen. I think it took me about 3 hours. I wanted Bf to sleep comfortably when he's here. I've been worried about what to eat next week while he's here. It's too sad to just eat the same thing everyday, which is what I basically do everyday here.

I've been trying to be careful about spending money but I think this week will be an exception. I plan to buy a lot of food to store up for the week. It's Christmas next week and I want to make something nice for the night.

Bf's arriving in 3 hours time. He hasn't smsed me since he left Malaysia, I assume he's safe and enjoying London. Visiting London is one of his dreams and I feel sorry for him because he's only able to visit it for 3 hours or so. Maybe next time. Sorry, it's my bad.

I can't wait for him to arrive. Sis and I are going to meet him at the train station. We've got about 6 days to spend together and then we'll be separated for another 7 months. Sam (flatmate from Room 5 who lend me her room) asked me yesterday whether I think we will still be together after that 7 months, I said I think so. I think separation is not the hardest part because we'll get used to be independent again. The tough part is when we finally get together and find how different we have become. It will be an interesting find. I am very determined to be a better and stronger person than I was. I hope he thinks the same and I can't wait till the day we get together permanently and learn about each other all over again.

Reflections

I talk too much, way too much. Too many unnecessary talks that does not interest anybody. I think I just make noises and I don't quite like that part about myself. Quite a few times I find my conversations go on and on. My listeners neither want nor need to hear about them. I know it. I need to listen more and talk less. It's not hard to do, I'm sure I can do that. I'll start from now.

I didn't have a great advocacy session, as a matter of fact, I screwed it up quite badly. There's a vast gap between my standard and my group mates' standards. I need to catch up badly. I won't give up, I just want to do better and better. I need to find out how to do things correctly and I'm glad I make the mistakes now than in exams of worse, in court. I like to think that I won't be beaten down by failures and this thought keeps me working harder each session. I have had quite a few failures lately but I am more determined than ever to work harder.

I know I can't please everybody and I can't possibly make everyone like me. I also know I shouldn't be afraid to stand up for what I am entitled for but I am too cowardly. There's a lot more for me to learn. I still try my best not to annoy others too much although I have very strong principles myself. It's hard to keep a balance between both because I have a good reason to act the way I act. I don't just behave in a certain manner just because I'm born that way. If I could explain why I'm acting so and make you understand, I'd be more than happy to share that part of me with you. Just don't judge me too early.

Huw's Christmas Party

I had one of the best Christmas party at Huw's last Friday. It was organised by Huw, Chris and Donna. Huw and Chris live beside St Barnabas Church, which I am fairly familiar with by now. Why do I say it's one of the best party? Because they've got good food! All of them were prepared by the wonderful Donna~

mulled wine, fruit juice, 3 different kind of cheese with biscuits, entire bowl of Lindt chocolate, chocolate and pecan pies, mince pies, chocolate fudge and french bread with tomatoes and melted cheese. (mind you, these are not the real names of the food served, I didn't have time to note the real name down because I was too busy munching them into my tummy)

Sis, your favourite blue cheese!

I like this one: French Brie

French loaf with chopped tomatoes and melted cheese

Homemade chocolate fudge (I'll never get enough of this)

Chocolate and pecan pies (This is very VERY nice~)

Mince pies (aren't the stars nice?)

This is Huw

Cam whore time

Weeeee!

Chris (this is another Chris, not the one who's organising the party) and Nicoleta

Me, Tanya (behind) and Shuv

Chris and Donna (chef-of-the-day)

They are the organisers!

I ate a lot that night. Christ (the other one) and Shuv saw me eating the entire night. They saw me talking to others while keeping my hand busy stuffing food in my system. And they had a good laugh at me :p I love to eat okay~ I think I ate non stop for about 3 hours without realising it. :O

You guys threw the best parties! Thanks for inviting and Merry Christmas!

Alarm Clock

It's supposed to be a good day but it all started WRONG! My damned alarm didn't work! I missed the entire class! SHIT SHIT SHIT! I feel so awful. I'm going to fill up the absentee form now. I have absolutely no excuse for myself. Why does this happen to me so often!? Bf, you've got to get me a separate alarm clock or I won't be able to graduate from BVC for missing more than 10% of the class. I've missed one already in the first term :( I feel like crying~

And I just got a call from sis that she missed her flight because she refused to take a taxi. I don't think she'll be coming today... Hope she's alright... At least she's not stranded at Birmingham...

It's the carol service today, I don't know what's going to happen. I need something to cheer me up but I'm worried about tomorrow's advocacy class. It's for an application to dismiss and because I missed the class today, I don't know what to do~

In a Dreaming State

A sudden pinch of emo-ing, listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Sober". I just came back from a party, met up with quite a number of LPC students. Reminds me more that my social circle is so small but surprisingly, I'm quite contented where I am. I have very nice friends whom I can talk with and I enjoy the little personal time at night.

I look at the sky so very often at night. The stars here are different from the ones I saw back home. Whenever I look outside the window while waiting for my water to boil, I see the glittering street lights spread across the hill, glowing brightly in a windy night. It looks so unreal, I feel like I'm living a dream that does not belong to me. I want it to be mine, but somehow I just feel like I can't have it. Why does it feel temporary, like I'm stealing some part of life that shouldn't be mine?

I'm Craving for...

...some pastries, sandwiches, hot spicy curry! The curry here is sweet :( Shuv said I need to put in spices for flavour. Can Bf ask Ah Yi to see if there's anything you can bring to make my curry taste like curry? Thanks!

Let's have some food picture!

I had Subway sandwich in London last month

Tis' so good~

Look! I asked for all the available salad (I love olives)

...with BBQ sauce (Shuv introduced me to Honey Mustard the other day, so damn good!)

Allow me to welcome highlight of the day:

German Sausage!

Remember the Goosefair in Nottingham, here? The lovely experience brought me to a next dose of German Sausage goodies. This time, it's at one of the stalls in the Christmas German Market at Nottingham Old Market Square. This is best on a chilly windy day with a mug of mulled wine. :q 

I'll bring Bf and sis to eat "gao gao" when they're here! It's not very big but there's donuts, muffins, mulled wine, candies, German sausages and the list goes on. Oh, and the outdoors ice-skating ring too! How can you not love the Christmas German Market?

I Wore This to Jenny's Party

Before I get into the cam whore pictures of my attire, I'd like to show you some of the pictures taken that night. Because it's in the pub, the lightings ain't great and my editing skill is only to a limited standard, I apologise for the horrifying face-glowing pictures.

I had a great night celebrating Jenny Swan's birthday. We started at Pitcher and Piano for some drinks (I had orange juice for £2) and then went to Lizard Lounge for some dancing. It was great exercise and it really warmed me up a lot! Dancing without being drunk is fun fun fun! :D And it's free entrance for us because Jenny got us VIP bookings!

From left: Shuv, Jenny (birthday girl), Laura and I

Enjoying ourselves at the lounge. Shuv's got the perfect hair, straight and thick, loved it.

We cam whored gao gao!

I cropped this picture from someone else's facebook picture

And now, I shall show you the attire for the day. The top was very nice. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything to go well with it except my pair of faithful jeans plus sport shoes. Thanks Shuv for the top! XD

I know, fat butt + round face. I've been eating biscuits every night.

But I'm still going to cam whore anyway~

I didn't know what to do with my hair...I look like I'm balding...

I put some make up for the night too. It's all brown colour so it's not that obvious. Need more practice lah~

Trying out Shuv's Clothes

I am attending a friend's birthday party (Jenny) today. It's at a club therefore I need some clothes. Initially, I wasn't bothered but Shuv was so sweet she insist I borrow a top from her enormous closet of clothes. Here's a few that I tried:

This is typical Shuv-style. She loves bareback.

That's the front of the top above

I like this very much actually

The picture doesn't do it justice I think. It's better than it looks.

This one is very short, can see bulging tummy.

This looks nice but I don't know how to button the front

This is hip length

I love the blings

Check it out!

Can you guess which one I picked for tonight?

Blur Case

I'm going to buy groceries tomorrow and as usual, I opened up my refrigerator to check my food supplies and prepared a list of things-to-buy. As I was going through the bottles of sauces, I found out that my sweet and sour sauce was missing and instead I had chopped tomatoes in the bottle.

Then it hit me why my spaghetti sauce tasted so weird this time! I mistakenly used the sweet and sour sauce instead of chopped tomatoes! *slap forehead* Gosh, I can really be quite blur sometimes~ In my defence, both the chopped tomatoes and the sauce were red and chunky and it can be quite hard to tell them apart without close inspection.

Anyway, there's still a bit of sweet and sour sauce left, initially meant for my rice but now it's going to go with some jacket potatoes for lunch tomorrow.

I have itchy-mouth-syndrome lately. Been craving for something to munch every night! I ate lots of chocolates today and finished up my chocolate digestive biscuits. I'm going to buy more biscuits and I'm very tempted to get some pastries at Tesco. I'll think about it.

I am so sleepy now. Night all.

ps: Bf, all the best in your competition!

Four Christmases

Christmas movies are the best romance/family movies you'd ever get. "Four Christmases" is all about the family, the relationship and the food. The food was enticing and immediately after the show, Shuv and I bought subway. :q

Four Christmases

Spoiler:

My all time favourite - Reese Witherspoon! And not to forget the ever funny guy Vince Vaughn. The couple in the movie were comfortable living as cohabitees. They enjoyed the no-ties-no-commitment-relationship that they shared. During Christmas visits to their "disjointed" extended family members, they realised that they should let the relationship take its natural course.

The-supposedly-happy-carefree-couple

I could relate to the movie very well because I myself juggle between at least two families. I understand the feeling of having to visit families on a one-day-celebration. Every year during Chinese New Year (CNY), my sister and I will plan our journey, trying out best to accommodate everybody in our schedule. Not to forget our own friends' CNY gatherings too. We managed it well and I love the amount of good food I can stuff down my tummy :q

In the movie, the couple had to juggle between 4 families (wow!) as their divorced parents have Christmas celebrations of their own. They have been avoiding going for family celebrations for years but this time, they were forced to. It was then that they found different sides of each other that they never knew before.

"Yeah, marriage is hell"

so are babies...

I admit I act quite differently when I'm with my family members compared with how I am with friends or even bf/gf. I remember feeling awkward bringing Bf to family gatherings because he will be seeing a totally different side of me. A me, that only my family members are familiar of. I think, looking at my cousins, you get a rough idea of how I was brought up and who I played with when I was young. It was like opening up a secret part of yourself that you're afraid the others might despise.

I suppose that's how Kate and Brad felt when they went back to their respective families. They discovered "secrets" and jokes about each other. Family talks have this special "ability" to bring out the most horrendous and embarrassing experiences in your life and you wonder if your partner will think of you differently after that.

At the end of the day, you promise that you will still have each other, no matter what happens.

Cheesy and corny I know but that's the promise you will rely on throughout this relationship. Merry Christmas to all couples!

Noodles Soup *yum*

I had only a 40p cookie for lunch today and was very hungry by the time I finally got to the kitchen at 5pm. I saw Alice (Room 2) making instant noodles and I felt like having noodles. I digged into my cupboard and there I found...

Hurray! Noodle soup here I come~

I saw so hungry I just took whatever I got from the fridge and cupboard, chucked them all in the pot, add water, add the seasoning and spaghetti pasta. I didn't read the instructions and added too much seasoning. It took 15 minutes to cook it and 10 minutes to gobble up everything.

Seaweed, 1 tomato, 1 mushroom and some lettuce leaves

It's the BEST dinner I've made to date

Nothing beats a good hot bowl of noodles soup

I'm going to watch "Four Christmases" at Cineworld with Shuv later at 8.45pm. I really need a break. Can't wait to indulge in the fun world of movies! And I'm craving for chocolates~

Note to Bf: bring more seasoning packets for noodles soup and seaweed. Thanks!

My Farewell 3 Months Ago @ Neway

This is such a delayed post. My best friend, Lyssa, organised a farewell at a karaoke room, Neway, for me prior to my departure to UK. The guys I knew since college attended and I am truly grateful ^_^

It was an expensive farewell and I crammed my tummy with so much good food. I wish I could do the same in Nottingham now~ A lot of trouble and hard work has been endured by Lyssa to get everyone together while compromising with my busy schedule to prepare for my departure. Thank you dear~ *muaks!*

They gave me a special HUGE card, which I totally love. It has the worst pictures of all of us, all taken on purpose, hehehe! It's so hilarious~ I tried putting in my luggage bag but it would be destroyed on the journey so I couldn't bring the card with me. It was the largest card and the most touching card I've ever received. Thank you very much! *hugs all*

Lyssa and David dedicated songs for me. I tried so hard not to cry because I believe that we will be united again, somehow or another. I wanted the night to be a happy and hopeful night. Not an ending to a great friendship I treasure to the depth of my heart.

Because of the dark environment, I had to increase the exposure but it the quality of the pictures had to be compromised. Sorry about that. If you interested in having the original pictures, leave me a comment with your email address.

from left: Ben, Suraj and Lyssa

Suraj signing the card they gave me

Johnson

From left: Al and my best beautiful friend, Lyssa

From left front: Nazril (signing card) and Al (blue checkered shirt)

From left behind: Ben (white T-shirt) and Win (white checkered shirt)

David signing the card with Daniel watching

Daniel

Me with my "maniac-tic" laugh holding THE card

Before it's signed

Me, Kelly and Card

Group picture

The guys and I

Peace out everyone!

We all just love cam whoring <3

David and I

Daniel and I

I realise I didn't have pictures with Lyssa or Kelly!!!! How can!!!???? Anybody has pictures that night? Mind sending them to me?

It's been 3 months since that day. Time flies so quickly. I've known most of you for about 3 years and it has been a hectic but crazy and fun time with you all. All the "mamak" sessions and parties. BBQ nights, birthdays and karaoke. I love and miss you all. Each one of you is remembered. All the best in our respective futures!

ps: If you miss me, send me instant noodles :p